I have the greatest best friend in the world.

This is him.

His name is Buddy.

Well, early this morning, he decided it would be funny and amusing to spend about an hour making his Facebook profile look EXACTLY LIKE MINE. And when I say “exactly”, I mean pretty damn close to my profile. For example, here’s my profile, right here.

Now, here’s “his” profile.

He took my profile picture, a few photos to tag me in, all of my interests, my bio, my favorite artists, movies, and even my goddamn name. And he posted a few statuses in a funny attempt to ridicule me:

At first, I was a little angry, but this passed in about three seconds as I laughed my ass off. It got even better when he started to post things on the walls of my friends.

Even my girlfriend’s wall, who I don’t think has read this yet:

And like I said, everything was pretty identical, except for two things. For one, he could try to fake being in a relationship, but it only showed Emily on my profile, not his. The other difference was found in his interests.

This trolling has brought such a smile to my face.

Geez, I suck at this.

Remember that one time, when I said that I would blog every day of my break?

Yeah, didn’t happen, really.

Which sucks, because I’ve been having the greatest Winter Break ever. I’ve already seen all of my favoritest people in the world, like Buddy, and Terweee, and Geaquari, and Tony, and Marshie, and most other people whose names end in sounds that rhyme with “e”. And I’ve done a lot of the cool stuff I wanted to do, and how I wanted to do them:

With minimal planning. Bahaha.

Maybe tomorrow, I’ll get to writing at LEAST about the exciting days. But I just wanted to say that, well…

So far, I’m good, I’m good. There’s still time to do more stuff that I want, like bowling with one of the greatest people in the world, along with tennis, and trips to the snow, more midnight sneaking out, maybe Six Flags, if I can afford it (doubt it), definitely MINI-GOLF OMFG, and general skating around Rialto to drop in on people.

Minimal planning.

Plus, with friends like these, who needs terminal diseases? Though I’ve been feeling a bit lonely from time to time, for the most part, I’ve been doing very, very well. I can always manage to keep a smile on my face.

So suck it, everyone who sucks.

-Othy

Day 3 – Monday, December 13th

Skating adventure today! I skated to Carter because I needed my transcript for college, because, apparently, my school doesn’t have my transcript… ANYWAY. I was also pissed the hell off, because while I was sleeping at Buddy’s, someone thought it’d be cute to go in my room at home and take my snack stash.
MOM.
Seriously. That was just ridiculous. Not to mention Geaquari waking up earlier than everyone else and deciding to change the wallpaper on my phone and tweeting something homosexual from it.
Urgh.
Anyway, I skated up to the school. Dope. Told Terry not to leave before I got there, so I could say hey. Well, a simple “hey” turned into… THE FIRST BUS TRIP OF THE WINTER WOOOOOO!!! Hella dope. And I went to see Fergins. As always, he was just THRILLED to see me…
I also took his car keys, and could have actually gotten away with taking his car, but I gave them back to him fairly quickly. Still got some lulz out of it.
So, Terry and I went to grab mah transcript, I saw Ms. Carter (<3), and we were out dat hoe. We hopped on the (22) and got to the (10), to get to the (82), which I think is a bus I’d never taken before. With its stupid hourly frequency, I understand why. But, luckily, we didn’t have to wait that long. And the time was passed with Game Boy Color action.
A lot of dudes kept starin’ at Terry and her purple (they’re really blue, don’t let her bullshit you) shorts, showin’ dat ass. She told me I needed to “regulate”, but I was too busy laughing. First stop was Costco, and was kinda decided on in the moment, since she had her brother’s old, expired Costco card.
We got in, easy-peasy.
AND WE HIT UP EVERY SAMPLE TABLE. Like, mostly, the bus trip was to quell the hunger living inside our bellies, so Terry wanted to go to some place called Tio’s or something, but after Costco, I wasn’t really looking for more food, lofl. No wonder I weigh, like, 87 pounds. Though, Terry did say I was gaining weight, and I don’t think she knows how happy that made me.
Right, so… Costco. We ate some stuff. I have a picture of every sample I got, so maybe I’ll upload those later. And we actually ran into Nehala, who works (or worked, probably, by now, lofl) there. And she was at the orange juice table, telling us how her current pitcher would just be thrown away if she didn’t give it all away by 5:00.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
We drank our asses off. I mean, if each cup of orange juice was, like, vodka, we would have puked out our lungs and died by the end of it. But, we finished it. And we left the table like bosses, while Nehala told other families and shoppers that they were all out. Bahaha! Destroyin’ the system, one sample table at a time.
After Costco, we strolled over to Tio’s, where Terry bought some carne asada fries for us, which would have been more bomb if I wasn’t already full of Costco samples and orange juice. But, I got to save the rest of the fries because Terry is so nice and sweet and awesome. Yeah!
Then, it got dark. NO.
Instead of chasing buses, we decided to just wait at Mimi’s until we could figure something out. So we went through our phone contacts list, calling everyone in three groups:

1. People who were cool and totally would be down to pick us up from some random place.
2. People who might not be cool, but still had cars and, hell, why not?
3. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE CALLING THEM!?

I don’t remember everyone that we called, but I do remember that Blake, Saadz, Porkchop, Scooter, and even Katie were in the clump. I tried calling Fergins too, but he, like always, didn’t answer. Tried calling Joseph, but she was getting a haircut or something, so I said never mind. Surprisingly enough, Steph came to pick us up. And I didn’t even notice her car come up to Mimi’s, because I was skateboard sledding at the time.
Skateboard sledding is my new favorite pastime. You essentially just start skating, then sit down on the skateboard and coast downhill.
Gotta try that mess at Chaffey or CSUSB soon.
Anyway, we got back, safe and sound, I thanked Steph for the ride with sixpence and a goat, and went inside my house.
Joseph called.
I told her that I was already home safely, and I didn’t need a ride.
“Oh, you’re home then?”
Fuck.
“Umm… Yeah?”
“M’kay. :3″
She didn’t say “colon three” out loud, but I knew that’s what she would have. And, sure enough, in a few minutes’ time, Joseph was outside my house, along with Cassie. I said hello, chatted weirdly for a few minutes as she just stared at me. I don’t want to use the word “gaze”, because “stared” is just the right amount of weird, and I don’t want to overdo it, but I quickly thought, hey, maybe I should give her the bass amp while she’s here.
So I did. Along with a strap and a cable, I packed them in her car. And, from there, I… didn’t know what else there was, so I kinda just went back into my house.
But geez, that was a big mistake. I really, REALLY miss my bass amp. Now I ain’t got nothing to blast my tunes on… That’s essentially everything from today.
Geez, that was long. Will every day be this long?

Day 2 – Sunday, December 12th

This day is pretty much known as Geaquari Day, because around… noon, possibly? Yeah, around noon, he asked me if I was home, and I told him that I was, but I was naked.
“Stay naked,” he said. Well, whatever. I did, actually. And I would have stayed naked until he arrived, if he hadn’t taken so damn long. Geaquari was skating, not driving, which I hadn’t really thought about. So, anyway, he got here, and we just kinda kicked it for… yeah, half of a day, ha ha. We Tumblr’d a bit, or a LOT, really. Watched funny shit online. Skated to liquor stores to get stuff like snackies and Monsters. Umm… I don’t remember what else. We called Terry on Skype, and while he talked to her, I skated to the store to get some Coke.
I was in a total Coke mood.
Coke is delicious.
I don’t remember crap from this day. Geaquari did spill a whole bunch of Coke on his pants trying to bust a “Napoleon Dynamite”. Funny as hell. So I let him wear some of my pants. He also got me with a damn personal jynx, and I couldn’t talk for a good ten minutes.
Painful.
Buddy picked us up, and we played Brawlsies. THAT was funny.
“What’s up, dawg? TAKE A TORNADO.” – Geaquari, OVER… and OVER… and OVER…
“I STUNNED MYSELF WITH MY OWN FUCKIN’ NUT!!” – Buddy, after being frustrated from stunning himself with his own nut.
Buddy and I also Luigi Uppercutted Geaquari’s Bowser at the same time, so I half-expected the TV to just implode and collapse upon itself, and we’d have to find something else to do.
It was a good day.

Day 1 – Saturday, December 11th

I said that I’d blog every single day of my winter break, and… Hey! There’s a little task for my WordPress! You know, since I don’t really use it anymore. It’ll be sort of like my online diary journal captain’s log. So, I finally got around to historianizing the last few days, probably forgetting some crucial details.

I’ve just been lazy. SO! Here are the first few days of my winter break, starting with Day 1.

Day 1 – Saturday, December 11th

My family and I left Stockton, I drove 400 miles, we sang Barry Manilow songs in the car. Pretty legit. Got home, cleaned my room, and Buddy came over. We drove Paul over by Baker’s, and Buddy and I just kicked it in the parking lot, acting stupid, as usual. He punched a sign, I think. I remember his hand hurting from something that had to do with a sign. I love my sweater. Black sweater. From American Eagle. They’ve got some bomb sweaters.
The rest of the night was spent mostly watching “You Laugh, You Lose” videos on YouTube. We had a contest to see who could watch the most without lauging, and I won by just ONE. And we played this game called “One Chance” which is too depressing for words.
TOO. DEPRESSING. FOR. WORDS.
I don’t remember anything else.

Flirtatious Hacker is Flirtatious

So, the weirdest thing happened last night. For a little background information, Numani’s computer is soooo totally hacked. And, assuming that everything told is true, it’s by some 23-year-old redhead hacker who sells stocks and also thinks I’m cute. She was talking to use through Numani’s Skype, so it was confusing talking to both of them at the same time. But whoever it was, he (or she, like she said) was no novice hacker. The end is a little creepy. I’ll keep updates to see if she really did give me a “present”.

Tim: Ooooh, is this one for me?

Numani: i think so

Numani: you wanna answer that one

Numani: 01000010 01111001 01100101 00100000 01100010 01111001 01100101 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01100111 01101111 01101111 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01110100 01101001 01101101 01100101 00101110

Tim: Yeah, sure, I’d love to.

Tim: Aww, don’t go! I wanna talk! Pweeeeeze!

Numani: bye bye binary boy

Tim: Ah well.

Tim: Have a good life.

Numani: hackers these days

there so charming right awww

Numani: i miss him already

Tim: I do too.

Tim: The minute he mentions me, he has to go. :

Tim: Just like all of my ex-girlfriends. :

Numani: thats horrible

Tim: loljk

Numani: XD

Tim: But seriously, I wanted a word with Mr. Mysterious.

Tim: Ah well, I’m goin’ to bed.

Tim: Guess it had to end some time.

(Enter the hacker…)

HACKER: Im here for three seconds before I boost to another comp. What is it tim?

Numani: kk ni-night but one question to you tim

Tim: Yeeeessssss?

Numani: oh wate hes talken to you tim go all ask later

Numani: tim hes talken 2 u

Tim: Yes?

Numani: i thought you wanted a work with him? he said 12:22:28 Numani Jones: Im here for three seconds before I boost to another comp. What is it tim?

HACKER: oh by the way love, im a girl. Not a 30 year old paste bag. The best thing is I’m routed to 8 cpus

Numani: oh cool ok i respect that

Numani: awsome

HACKER: Sure you do

Tim: A woman is doing this?

Numani: pritty bad ass woman

HACKER: Yes. So spit it out Tim

Tim: First, maybe I ask a question? Or, two, really.

HACKER: Sure

Tim: The first is just, can you make it clear when I’m talking to you and not the other person?

Tim: I mean, I’m sure the capitalization alone should really let me know, ha ha.

HACKER: neah this is fun

Tim: Okay, all right, fair enough.

Tim: If you won’t, I’m all right with that.

Tim: Secondly, and more importantly…

Tim: Are you single?

HACKER: Yes

Tim: Hawt.

Tim: M’kay, thanks. All I needed to know.

HACKER: Wanna taste? lol

Tim: You know what?

Tim: Not anymore, no. But thanks for the offer.

HACKER: KK

HACKER: lol

Tim: Do you have a name, miss?

HACKER: Nope

Tim: Mmm, interesting, interesting…

Tim: Must be hard to distinguish you from others, wouldn’t it be?

Numani: shes out of your leauge tim lol

HACKER: So did you have any real question. Cause now that I have destroyed what little of a relationship this girl had to ****** boy the fun is done.

Tim: @Monster Out of my league? Ha. That’s just an excuse. That means nothing.

Numani: aww she thinks she destroyed our relashon ship, honey there are some bonds that cant be broken

Tim: @WeirdMysteryPerson Trust me on this one: You’ve destroyed nothing. It was a valiant effort, though. You can choose one prize out of the toy box, if you’d like.

Numani: wate then was she doing the dots?

Tim: It’s hard to say.

Tim: I’d bet yes.

HACKER: Oh really. Let’s see. He is emotionally unstable im guessing from all the poor trauma he has gone through. Just not the same. He also loves the girl to death, but seeing that he will never have her again will detroy him inside, when he sees her for what she is.

Tim: But there are also many other outside factors that could be considered.

HACKER: no the dots weren’t me

Tim: Hm? What was that?

HACKER: just a trojan

Numani: ok that solves that mistery

Numani: further momre

Tim: Hmm. For a troll, you’ve certainly done your homework.

HACKER: momre? lol thats hilarious

Numani: matthew knows everything becuse i keep nothing from him

Numani: ya my spellings atroshous

HACKER: Oh really. Everything

Numani: yep

Numani: youd be surprised

HACKER: What does he think about you waning to suck that buddys d***?

Tim: Who DOESN’T want to suck Buddy’s d***?

Numani: let me ask him im on the pohone with him right now

Numani: he thinks its f***ing gross

HACKER: and he puts up with you. gets nothing but that from you.

HACKER: Tim

Tim: Yes?

HACKER: What do you think about her?

Tim: By “her”, you mean Buddy, right?

HACKER: two more question then im gone. so choose carefully

Numani: what is it you think i am sweetheart? cuz it seems you really dont like me lol

Tim: Oh, so I’m allowed two more questions.

HACKER: yes

Tim: Let me know first if there are any restrictions on the questions I may ask.

HACKER: nope

HACKER: I think you are nothing, but a disease. Like all the rest of girls out there

Tim: All right, assuming you’re talking to Monster, I’ll just go ahead and ask some questions.

Numani: whered she go?

HACKER: I’m here

Tim: I’m guessing the “whered she go?” is Monster, and “I’m here” is the troll.

Tim: This is getting a bit confusing.

Numani: yes tim

HACKER: Troll, aww, your feisty

Numani: sorry

Tim: *you’re

Tim: And thanks. ;]

HACKER: Spit it out already

Tim: Ah! All right then.

Numani: i guess im gunna have to work on a cure for my desease hu

Tim: 1. In what city are you currently located?

Numani: i think tims in love lol

Tim: @Monster Oh, yeah, pfft, whatever. I’m just working.

Tim: Nothing more.

HACKER: LA, San Fran, and not Stockton

Tim: Well, that certainly is an interesting answer.

HACKER: One more

Tim: So, assuming what you’ve just said is true, you’re in two cities, but pointlessly mentioned one other.

Tim: As if you thought I’d think you’d be where I am, so that I might know you, when, in reality, I don’t know many people here.

HACKER: It’s so easy to track you people

Tim: It’s probably easier when my location is listed in my information.

HACKER: Matt- Eureaka

HACKER: You- Stockton

Numani: well ya our city state and adress is pritty much on alot of what is posted

Numani: duh

HACKER: Numani-Fontana

Tim: That’s correct. We’ve established you can read, and that you can tell us what we all know to be true.

Numani: yay!

HACKER: Buddy-rialto

Numani: now tell me my adress

HACKER: You want me to?

Numani: what is it you think iv done thats so horrible to matt? im pritty much the only family he has left and will stay by him no matter what

Numani: yes plz

HACKER: 15***

HACKER: ***** st

HACKER: 92***

Numani: sweet come visit!

Numani: do you like tea?

Tim: Paaaahahahahaha. I applaud you on that one.

HACKER: One more question sweety (Tim)

HACKER: I’m 23 btw

Tim: Oooooh, so now I’m “Sweety”.

Tim: 23, huh?

HACKER: Redhead. San Fran mostly

Tim: Well, luckily, I don’t have to ask THAT anymore, now do I?

Tim: No way.

Tim: A REDHEAD?

Numani: i think shes the girl of your dreams

Tim: Slow down, Monster.

Tim: She knows more than I’ve estimated her to.

Numani: well she aut too!

HACKER: Aww your all riled up

Tim: Not riled up: Just impressed.

Numani: you didnt expect that?

HACKER: Why thank you

Tim: And a little giddy, “meeting” a twenty-three-year-old redhead from San Francisco.

Tim: I can’t say we’ve properly met, since you haven’t told me your name.

Numani: its probubly somthing mysterious but pritty

HACKER: Is that you last question

HACKER: your

Tim: Well, when I look at it, it doesn’t LOOK like a question.

Tim: It looks like a statement.

Tim: In fact, upon my double-checking it, it IS a statement.

Numani: oh tim…..

Tim: @Monster what is it?

HACKER: You wanna ask it though

Numani: no i ment as in a sigh

Tim: Well, no, you assume I want to ask it.

Tim: With the art of deduction, you cannot assume anything not given as a concrete fact.

HACKER: So what would you like to ask conan?

Tim: Excuse me, that’s Mr. Doyle to you.

Numani: sereously tim ……just ask…..

Tim: Oh, sorry, right, right.

Tim: What is your profession or occupation as of now?

Tim: I’m just curious.

Numani: facepalm

HACKER: Last question?

Tim: Correct.

HACKER: Okay

Numani: ?

Tim: @Monster, be patient.

HACKER: My profession as of now. I buy, trade, and sell stocks. Also, I infect corperate cpu’s for pricey fees

Numani: sorry

HACKER: My name is Alice

Numani: thats interesting

HACKER: night night sweetheart

Numani: good night alice sweetdreams

HACKER: Bye bye Numassacre

Tim: Umm, I think she was talking to ME, Monster.

Tim: Bwahaha!

Numani: XD

Numani: i know i was just sayen

Tim: Good night, Alice.

HACKER: Maybe Ill check up on you some other time Tim

Tim: By all means, be my guest. :3

Numani: i hope all hackers are as nice as her

HACKER: Aww, goodnight. Oh check your bank account. often.

Tim: We can only hope, Monster. Otherwise, she might have deleted all of your pr0n.

Numani: noooo! not the pron!!!

HACKER: You might get a present

Tim: I might get a present?

HACKER: Yeah

Tim: Hey, I can’t wait.

HACKER: your kinda cute barley legal

Not far away either

HACKER: dorm and all.

Tim: Yeah, you guessed right.

Tim: Catch ya later: I’ve gotta get some sleep now, Alice.

Tim: G’night. :

Numani: toodalz alice

Tim: Well, on that note, I’m gonna take my cute self to bed.

Tim: Bahaha, ni-night, Monster. :3

Numani: i think you made a friend how adorable awww!

kk ni-night plank sweet dreams

Weird, huh? But, as frightening as this is, I think it’s hella cool that I actually had a friendly conversation with someone who hacked the hell out of Numani’s computer. This isn’t even the full version: There were many more threats and much more binary than in the beginning. All I know is that Numani needs to get her damn comp fixed.

-Othy

Best. Pokemon. Fight. EVER.

So, Buddy and I had our very own Pokemon match on Skype, while Numani spectated. Hilariousness ensued.

Tim: Go! Raichu!

Tim: Bellsprout! Pull out! NO babies!

Tim: DICK is now hosting battle.

Tim: *Raichu waits impatiently*

Tim: BUDDY forfeits the match!

Tim: OTHY wins the match!

Tim sent Pokemon_Red_Blue_Yellow_Bike_theme.mp3

Buddy sent death from above.jpg

Tim: Winning music

Tim: RAICHU uses THUNDER!

Tim: Fuck, it missed.

Buddy: Hitmonlee uses high kick

Buddy: its super effective

Tim: “Hey, man, why the fuck you dun kicked me in my face!?”

Tim: “Fuck I’m doin’ cookin’ out of a washin’ machine anyway…?”

Buddy: HITMONLEE uses THUNDER!

Buddy: teh fuck?

Tim: RAICHU laughs. DEF drops drastically!

Tim: RAICHU uses QUICK ATTACK!

Tim: *quickly attacks*

Buddy: HITMONLEE FAINTED!

Tim: RAICHU gained 4 EXP. points.

Buddy sent death from above.jpg

Tim: BUDDY sent out EXODIA!

Tim: …

Buddy: BUDDY recalls EXODIA!

Buddy sent death from above.jpg

Buddy: PIDGEY uses DIG!

Tim: It’s super effective!

Tim: “RAICHU, get yo ass back hurr!”

Tim sent Shin_chan_character_boo.jpg

Tim: OTHY sends out BOO!

Tim: “BOO! Dude, no.”

Buddy: PIDGEY uses DIG!… again

Tim: It’s not very effective.

Tim: BOO uses SNOT ROCKET!

Buddy: PIDGEY FAINTED FROM EXHAUSTION AT DIGGING TWO HOLES!

Tim: LOFL!!!!

Tim: Is that what I waited for you to type!?

Buddy sent death from above.jpg

Tim: BOO gained 2 1/2 EXP. points.

Tim: BOO grew to level 9001!

Buddy: DITTO uses LICK!

Tim: BOO did not understand the Teen Girl Squad reference!

Tim: BOO fainted!

Buddy: DITTO continues to clean himself with LICK!

Tim sent Snorlax.gif

Tim: Go! SNORLAX!

Buddy: DITTO uses that ditto move that he gots!

Tim: SNORLAX is fast asleep…

Buddy: DITTO is fast asleep…

Tim: SNORLAX woke up!

Tim: SNORLAX is fast asleep…

Buddy: DITTO is fast asleep…

Tim: SNORLAX thinks he is awake, but is actually in the movie “Inception”!

Buddy: TEAM DEATH FROM ABOVE uses FLUTE!

Buddy: but just quitely enough for ditto to hear

Buddy: DITTO woke up!

Tim: SNORLAX fucking hates the flute. Put on some Slayer, or Megadeth.

Buddy: DITTO leaves team death from above to pursue his acting career!

Tim: SNORLAX gains 1433 EXP. points.

Tim: SNORLAX grew to level 46!

Tim: SNORLAX is trying to learn UNEMPLOYMENT.

Tim: But SNORLAX is too lazy to learn shit.

Tim: Teach SNORLAX how to roll a joint?

Tim: SNORLAX learned how to roll a joint!

Buddy sent death from above.jpg

Buddy: GOLDEEN uses USELESS!

Buddy: GOLDEEN is EVOLVING!

Buddy: Allow GOLDEEN to evolve?

Buddy: No…

Buddy: Are you sure?

Buddy: Yes

Tim: FFFFUUUUU-

Buddy: Like… seriously… are you… i mean… like… the only point of having a Goldeen is to evo…

Buddy: No..

Buddy: *sigh* GOLDEEN remains GOLDEEN!

Tim: Baaaahahaha!

Tim: SNORLAX is fast asleep.

Buddy: GOLDEEN uses DIG!

Tim: SNORLAX…

Tim: is…

Tim: fast…

Tim: fucking…

Tim: asleep…

Buddy: GOLDEEN is trying to EVOLVE again!

Buddy: NOW WAIT!

Buddy: Before you say anything! here me out!

Tim: SNORLAX is tired of watching GOLDEEN try to evolve.

Buddy: Goldeen is shit!

Buddy: let Goldeen evolve!

Tim: SNORLAX uses ROLLING PAPERS.

Buddy: Yes.

Yes.<–

Tim: SNORLAX gets the munchies.

Buddy: Teh fuck?!

Buddy: GOLDEEN was forcibaly turned into a GYRADOS!

Tim: …

Buddy: GYRADOS is EVOLVING!… wait… teh fuckk… DUDE… YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN ON THIS ONE!

Buddy: Yes. <–

No?

Tim: SNORLAX fell back to sleep…

Buddy: GYRADOS became SNORLAX!

Buddy: TEH FUUUUUUUUU-

Tim: The rest of OTHY’S Pokemon fell asl- wut?

Buddy: SNORLAX turns back into DITTO!

Buddy: *HEAD ESPLODES*

Tim: SNORLAX! Come back, for the love of God!

Buddy: OTHY wins!

Tim: OTHY got $0.87 for winning.

Tim: Worst. Match. Ever.

Tim: Okay, time for a three-way match.

Buddy: DITTO challenges OTHY!

Tim: -_-

Buddy: DITTO sent out GOLDEEN!

Tim: I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHAFUCKIN’ DITTOS IN THIS MUTHAFUCKIN’ TALL GRASS!!

Tim sent Mr. Mime.gif

Buddy: GOLDEEN sent out LICKITUNG!

Tim: Go! MR. MIME!

Tim: MR. MIME is confused on who he is supposed to attack.

Tim: MR. MIME became confused.

Tim: MR. MIME used HADOUKEN!

Buddy sent death from above.jpg

Buddy: LICKITUNG sent out MEW!

Tim: -_-

Buddy sent death from above.jpg

Tim: >:{

Buddy sent Buddyman.jpg

Buddy: MEW sent out TEAM DEATH FROM ABOVE CAPTAIN BUDDY! head fully intact?

Tim: Nah, dawg. I can’t deal.

Tim: I CAN’T FUCKING DEAL.

Buddy: BUDDY is confused!

Tim: MR. MIME fainted!

Tim: OTHY SENT OUT FUCK YEAH!!!

Tim sent Seaking.gif

Buddy: BUDDY uses PUNCH A POKEMON IN THE FACE!

Tim: BUDDY punches a horn!

Buddy: OW

Buddy: FUCK

Tim: It’s super effective to his fist!

Tim: SEAKING used HORNY ATTACK!

Buddy: It’s not very effective…

Buddy: FOR THE LAST TIME… IM NOT INTO SEAFOOD FETISHES

Tim: SEAKING became self-conscious!

Tim: SEAKING wonders if it was something she said!

Buddy: BUDDY uses MAKE JAPANESE DISH!

Tim: SEAKING fainted.

Tim: Use next Pokemon OH SHIT YOU HAVE NO CHOICE.

Buddy: SEAKING is SUSHI!

Tim sent Dragonite.gif

Buddy: BUDDY’S health has been restored

Tim: Go! DRAGONITE!

Buddy: OH SHIT!

Tim: DRAGONITE dusts off his shoulder! ATK is raised!

Buddy: BUDDY uses SHIT HIS PANTS “OH MY FUCK ITS A DRAGON”!

Tim: It’s not effective, like, at all, yo.

Tim: DRAGONITE uses BITCHSLAP!

Buddy: BUDDY cried!

Buddy: Its super effective!

Tim: DRAGONITE used MUTHAFUCKIN’ OBLITERATE!!

Tim: DRAGONITE’S attack… missed…

Buddy: BUDDY uses MACHETE ON HIS WALL!

Buddy: Blood… goes… everywhere

Buddy: DRAGONITE is missing an arm!

Tim: OTHY uses HELLO KITTY BAND-AID on DRAGONITE!

Tim: DRAGONITE’S HP is fully restored!

Buddy: MEW called back BUDDY!

Tim: …!?

Tim: Oh, wait, yeah, that’s right.

Buddy sent death from above.jpg

Tim: D:

Buddy: MEW sent out TANGELA!

Tim: OTHY dropped to his knees.

Tim: “… Son!?”

Buddy: DRAGONITE is confused at the likeness of the pokemon to his master!

Buddy: DRAGONITE doesnt know who to listen to!

Tim: OTHY calls back DRAGONITE before BUDDY can say something stupid!

Tim: Luckily, OTHY can type faster than BUDDY!

Buddy: TANGELA: No GIVE ME THE GUN

Tim sent Charmander.gif

Tim: Go! CHARMANDER!

Tim: “Char! Charmander! Char char!”

Tim: OTHY tells CHARMANDER to shut the fuck up.

Tim: “…”

Tim: OTHY says that that is better.

Buddy: TANGELA cries because he knows no one can defeat CHARMANDER!

Buddy: MEW tells TANGELA to MAN THE FUCK UP!

Tim: CHARMANDER uses APATHY!

Tim: (I’ve been waiting my whole life to use this move)

Tim sent tumblr_l6bf0ubRB71qba5ej.jpg

Tim: It’s done.

Tim: ATK, DEF and AGI rose like you wouldn’t fucking believe!

Tim: Agility.

Tim: -_-

Tim: You right!

Buddy: TANGELA uses TICKLE in an attempt to appease CHARMANDER and be cute!

Tim: CHARMANDER finds TANGELA to be cute, so he is appeased!

Tim: CHARMANDER uses HOLOCAUST.

Buddy: Its super effective

Buddy: because of TANGELA’S JEW FRO

Tim: Your turn, bro.

Buddy: TANGELA suffocated in a GAS CHAMBER

Tim: >: D

Buddy: MEW uses GENGAR!

Buddy: and the battle of cuteness begins

Tim: CHARMANDER! Come back!

Tim: Go! DIGLETT!

Tim sent Diglett.gif

Tim: Whoops, sorry. Wrong one.

Tim: That’s my level 14 Diglett.

Buddy sent FUCKING SICK WITH IT!!!.jpg

Buddy: THIS LEVEL 99 GENGAR!

Tim: Come back DIGLETT!

Tim: Go! DIGLETT!

Tim sent tumblr_l9otaaVKbR1qa6wvao1_500.gif

Tim: This is my lvl. 100 Diglett.

Tim: DIGLETT uses COME AT ME BRO!

Buddy sent FUCKING SICK WITH IT!!!.jpg

Tim: So… Come at him bro.

Tim: Come at him.

Tim: Come at him.

Tim: Do it.

Tim: Come at him, bro.

Tim: Do it.

Tim: Come on.

Tim: Come at him.

Tim: Do it.

Tim: Come on, bro.

Tim: Do it.

Buddy: GENGAR uses CELL PHONE!

Tim: DIGLETT waits patiently!

Buddy: GENGAR finishes his call and too waits patiently!

Tim: DIGLETT uses MIMIC!

Tim: DIGLETT mimicked the GENGAR’S DIG.

Tim: DIGLETT used DIG!

Buddy: GENGAR CRIED LIKE A LITTLE BITCH!

Tim: DIGLETT used FAP!

Buddy: The ASPCA arived!

Buddy: They speak with GENGAR!

Buddy: One of them cries “HOLY FUCK”!

Buddy: The OTHER puts the dog leash around DIGLETT’S neck!

Buddy: It’s not very effective

Tim: DIGLETT uses HUMAN SMASH!

Tim: It’s super effective against their weak skulls!

Buddy: ITS SUPER EFFECTIVE

Tim: HUMANS used SHIT PANTS.

Tim: It’s super gross.

Buddy: The ASPCA driver uses ELEPHANT TRANQUALIZER!

Tim: DIGLETT fell asleep…

Tim: FRANK WEST said, “That’s hilarious!”

Buddy: The ASPCA uses EUTHANASIA!

Buddy: And everyone cried!

Tim: DIGLETT “fainted”…

Buddy: forever

Buddy: in a quiet, peaceful… faint

Tim: May he… be fainted… in peace…

Buddy: everyone is too sad to continue

Buddy: they all go home

Tim: OTHY falls into a deep depression.

Tim: OTHY’S WIFE uses CONSOLE!

Buddy: GENGAR is not allowed to return home for being a dick!

Tim: It’s not very effective.

Tim: OTHY uses WIFE BEAT.

Tim: What? OTHY is evolving!

Tim: OTHY evolved into…

Tim sent chris_brown.jpg

Tim: No.

Buddy: THIS SUMMER!

Tim: Lawl!!

Tim: Is this match over yet? I gotta post this to some social networking site.

Buddy: Chris Brown goes on a journey to get redemption for the death of a beloved friend

Tim: Diglett.

Tim: I mean Diglett.

Buddy: Josh Hudspeth as DIGLETT

Buddy: Chris Brown as OTHY

Buddy: Paul Giamatti as GENGAR

Tim: Robert Amador as EXTRA #14

Buddy: THIS SUMMER… SHIT… GETS… REEEEAAALLL

Tim: Are you ready… to catch them all?

Buddy: also starring Steve Buscemi as DITTO!

Tim: -_-

Buddy: POKE… VENGE… STORY… OF… REVENGE!

Tim: With a guest appearance of Michael Cera as… Michael Cera.

Buddy: and Jack Krauser as BUDDY

Tim: Stop it

Tim: Cut it out

Tim: No

Buddy: ya know… to appropriately represent him

Tim: Not even

Tim: Suck my dick

Tim: Not even close

Buddy: wait josh isnt in the movie anymore

Tim: Okay, why are you saying things, and then typing it?

Buddy: Heath Ledger as DIGLETT…

Buddy: Too soon?

Tim: :[

Tim: The whole day of 9/11 as DRAGONITE.

Tim: Too soon?

Yes.

-Othy